![]() ![]() But she does not want to forget her mother and siblings. Over 30 years later, Christina said that people continue to expect her to just “be over it” and to find closure. Just before her 16th birthday, Christina’s mom and four siblings were killed in a car accident. As part of my research, I interviewed a woman I will call Christina. They can carry grief as part of their love for many years. And I learn time and again that people do not need closure to heal. I’ve listened to hundreds of people who share their experiences with loss. If not closure, then what?Īs a grief researcher and public speaker, I engage with many different groups of people seeking help in their grief journeys or looking for ways to better support others. The concept of closure taps into a desire to have things ordered and simple, but experiences with grief and loss are often longer-term and complex. I hear this frustration from people I interview.Ĭlosure frequently becomes a one-word description of what individuals are supposed to find at the end of the grieving process. Privately, many people may resent the idea of closure because they do not want to forget their loved ones or have their grief minimized. This pressure can lead to further isolation. Because so many others may tell those grieving they need closure, they often feel a pressure to either end grief or hide it. If people believe they need closure in order to heal but cannot find it, they may feel something is wrong with them. The concern comes when people believe closure must be found in order to move forward.Ĭlosure represents a set of expectations for responding after bad things happen. It is not the mere presence of closure as a concept that is a problem. Still today, journalists, politicians, businesses and other professionals use the rhetoric of closure to appeal to people’s emotions related to trauma and loss. However, research continues to show that executions do not bring closure. Arguing that the death penalty would bring closure for victims’ family members was an attempt to appeal to a broader audience. In the 1990s, death penalty advocates used the concept of closure to reshape their political discourse. Closure eventually became a neat package to explain those services. To justify their high prices, funeral homes began claiming that their services helped with grief too. The funeral industry started using closure as an important selling point after it was criticized harshly in the 1960s for charging too much for funerals. Why did closure become popular?Ĭlosure is entrenched in popular culture not because it is a well-defined, understood concept that people need, but rather because the idea of closure can be used to sell products, services and even political agendas. Individuals who are grieving feel more supported when they are allowed time to learn to live with their loss and not pushed to find closure. Although there are numerous interpretations of closure, it usually relates to some type of ending to a difficult experience.Īs a grief expert and author of “ Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What It Costs Us,” I have learned that the language of closure can often create confusion and false hope for those experiencing loss. There is no agreed-upon definition for what closure means or how one is supposed to find it. From the breakup of a relationship to losing a loved one, people are often told to find “closure” after traumatic things happen.īut what is closure? And should it really be the goal for individuals seeking relief or healing, even in these traumatic times of global pandemic, war in Ukraine and mass shootings in the U.S.?Ĭlosure is an elusive concept. ![]()
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